About Us: You and Me
Hi! I'm Rebecca. Physician Mom's Coach, OB GYN, Women's Wellness Expert, and Lover of Greece.
You are an exceptional physician and loving mother.
You've worked ridiculously hard to get to where you are.
You could dance circles around Superwoman.
But all of the hard work, diplomas, board certifications, deep caring and sacrifices for everyone but yourself, cannot make up for the fact that maybe you're also...
Buried under a thousand patient charts, drowning in a sea of "yeses," lost in a maze of administrative expectations.
Beginning to mistrust your career decisions, feeling like an imposter in your own life.
Missing important milestones and quality time with your children.
Spending more time keeping the house running than nurturing your relationship with your partner.
Walking around with a permanent "Do Not DIsturb" sign attached to your chest...
"Sorry everyone, but I've got a standing (bad) date with my computer and charts!"
And when you do have a spare moment, you find yourself thinking:
"There was a reason I became a physician, right?"
Do you then have to remind yourself that you do love this work--the meaningful connections with your patients, making a difference in their lives?
You may also wonder:
What's my endpoint?
Am I going to get sick and not be here for my family?
What am I modeling for my kids?
When will I stop failing everyone around me?
Am I teaching my daughters to sacrifice themselves and my sons to expect this of the women in their lives?
And is there any way not to feel GUILTY, all the time?
~ Sara Gottfried, MD, Integrative Gynecologist and NYT Best-Selling Author
Five Core Beliefs You Need to Know:
You do not need to sacrifice yourself for your career or for your loved ones.
Taking great care of yourself first is not selfish (but the reverse might be).
Anyone can do this, with courage, persistence, appropriate support, and faith in yourself.
Creating a support structure and making requests is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Creating our outside world to reflect or inside world--who we are, what we want, what we are here to do--is an exciting and ever-changing process, and not one to go at alone.
Sounds like what you need?
Let's talk about how I can help you make it happen.
My Plan for You
First, here are some things you need to STOP doing:
Stop putting yourself last (especially during this pandemic!). Nothing is possible when you leave yourself out of your own life.
Stop filling your life with everything you're tolerating.
Stop thinking that exercising more will make you feel better (it may actually put further strain on your body).
Stop depending on meditation or divine intervention as your only cure.
Stop doing it all on your own.
What should you START doing instead?
START GETTING SUPPORT FROM A PHYSICIAN LIKE YOU WITH 30-YEARS EXPERIENCE IN WOMEN'S WELLNESS...WHO SPECIALIZES IN HELPING PHYSICIAN MOMS!
Why? Because I get it.
~ Mary Shomon, Patient Advocate and NYT Best-Selling Author
From the start, colleagues thought I was crazy when I did it MY way
Straight out of residency, I decided to work part-time in a non-benefited position. I was determined to be in control of my schedule so I could travel to Greece annually.
No one in my department had done this before.
I delayed applying to a regular position for two years.
Every single colleague (except one, a mother) passionately discouraged me from my choice--I would lose my surgical skills, I wouldn't pass my Board exams, no one would hire me...yada yada ya...
They were wrong.
After two years of working in a part-time clinical position, I applied and was accepted into a fully-benefited partnered track.
In two more years, I made partner, passed my Board exams, and paid back all my student loans.
Two months later, I left this partner position to work with the most renowned Integrative Gynecologist in the country, Dr. Christiane Northrup:
What came next was even better!
Two years later, I moved to Greece for another two. When I returned to the U.S. I reset my life.
What followed was several decades of making my life work for me, rather than making work my entire life. I took annual trips to Greece, kept control over my work schedule with a part-time OB GYN practice, learned integrative and energy medicine, spoke about women's wellness and physician well-being, took leadership and activism training, became a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach, and, finally, coached Physician Moms and Leaders.
Through all of this ran the brightly colored thread of creating more equity for women, including women of color, because it was impossible for me not to notice the terrible effects of these inequities in my own life and in the lives of my patients and colleagues.
Our country has a long way to go in valuing women and children, especially the vital contributions of exceptional mothers.
And this brings me to...
Early on, I faced the reality that I, like most women in our country, must choose between time at home with my children and my own livelihood. Unlike most civilized countries, mothers are given a ridiculously small amount of paid maternity leave, which means unless you are independently wealthy, you do not have the choice to stay home with your children the first years of their lives (and beyond) without forfeiting your career and income. For me, this led to my regretful decision not to have a child. Mothers are faced with this struggle on a daily basis, pitting their careers against precious time with their families.
But I also realized that being a mother takes many forms--nurturing, caretaking, protecting, problem-solving, educating, and loving.
One does not need to have biological children to be a mother. Many women physicians bring the qualities of a great mother into their medical practices every day.
As a physician, I have cared for and protected countless children and their mothers. In my private life, i have been a second mother, an aunt, a caretaker, and have done the same.
So, it was inevitable that I would be led specifically to coach Physician Moms.
~ Hala Sabry-Elnaggar, MD, Emergency Medicine and Founder of the Physician Moms Group
You, too, can do it YOUR way...
My life-long calling to better the lives of women and children, combined with my quest to create work and life on my terms, brought me down this unique path.
You, too, have a unique path that combines your values, desires, and calling. It is waiting for you, and I can help you find it.
Identifying and following your own path will not only bring you fulfillment, but will also make the greatest difference in our world, because...
Great mothers are the fabric that hold our world together.
You are highly gifted, intelligent, and experienced, and you care deeply about our children.
Who better to lead us than you?
My clients have gone from "trapped in conventional medicine" to writing NYT Best Sellers AND...
Creating integrative medical practices
Becoming heads of departments, residency programs, and physician wellness programs
Getting that elusive NIH research grant, being tasked to build a new medical specialty center, finding or creating the work of their dreams.
All have gained clarity about their intimate relationships--some leaving their current partners, others deepening their connections.
Some have even been empowered to make the important decision about whether or not to have more children.
After coaching together, ALL are now spending more quality time with their loved ones, more present than ever before, and experiencing more joy.
This could be you.
~ Alicia McLucas, CPCC, Certified Professional Co-Active Coach
If You Really Want to Know Me...
Determination, sheer will power, and believing I can do anything is in my bones. When I was four years old, I was determined to be allowed to swim unaccompanied in Lake Tahoe. My solution? To float on my back, barely avoiding drowning, to demonstrate to the lifeguard that I could do it!
I wrote a book decades ago about the dysfunction and inequities of our established systems--including our medical world--created by white men of privilege. Throughout my life, I have been acutely aware of gender and racial bias in our country and, in particular, its detrimental effects on women and children.
I was Nia Vardalos' stand-in for My Life in Ruins, an extra in Mamma Mia, and met Pierce Brosnan while topless (yes, BOTH of us!) on a Greek beach, all within a three-week period.
I first decided to become a doctor on a dare, by my cardiovasular surgeon neighbor (while taking out the garbage), when he asked me what the heck I was doing with my life.
I learned Greek, got my navel pierced, and obtained my motorcycle license in my forties. It's never too late to make changes, stir things up, live your life!
My clients benefit from my superpowers of a rare INFJ personality type: profound insight, empathy, intellectualism, and foresight. Coupled with my intuitive gifts, I easily read others, including strangers. (This ability landed me an acceptance into UCSF's Psychiatry residency program, but I chose OB GYN instead!)
Some of my other LOVES --besides my inspirational Physician Mom Clients--all things GREECE, photography, the Sierras, the Aegean Sea, OUTLANDER, Paranormal Vampire books, Franco Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet, and MUSIC.